2015 resolutions

1. try to pay off my credit card debt. 

it's not a crazy amount (don't worry family) but i have always been bad with money- as we are all aware. i remember this monumental moment when i was little and we were all out with our dad. we used to get a weekly allowance for chores and things. my mom & dad of course would always encourage us to save it, never spend it. one day we were out-- not even a good store or anything, probably like home depot or a grocery store. kristen and i saw this stuffed animal cow which wasn't even cute or soft. in fact it was stiff  and awkward and really not a good stuffed animal, but true to form, we both bought one with our recently given allowance. i'm pretty sure it was like $9 or even more. i think it's weird i still remember that & it's almost like i have always been the same-- always looking for material things to self-soothe, even at such a young age. do you think people can change?

2. cherish what i already have and own.

even though i claim i'm not a perfectionist, which i really don't think i am, the only times it does come out is with material items. i think this is related to resolution #1. so this year i am going to continue to try and cherish what i already have- even if it's old, ugly, outdated, and so forth. nothing i buy anyway will ever be perfect-- if only i remembered that.

3. accept being busy.

this year has suddenly brought on a ton of changes for me. i am going to start two new jobs and will probably be working 60+ hours a week which terrifies me. it's funny how i was such a hard worker in school and all of a sudden i feel like i can't work even 10 hours a week anymore. i know burnout is a real thing, but this is weird and something else. maybe it's because the motivation behind school and work are so different. anyway, keep me in your prayers!

4. live in the present. 

this has been a resolution of mine probably for the past 10 years. cayce and i were talking about it yesterday while eating at grimaldi's. just how youth is such a short time of your life and how you can never get it back and only be that way once. cayce reminded me that i would also never get that moment back and would only have it once. touché.

then i stopped, listened to the clatter of dishes and conversations, breathed in and smelled the smell of grimaldi's (sometimes hit or miss) and really took in that moment. i still remember it today and the way the hardwood floors looked- shiny and wintery. did you know grimaldi's in uptown had hardwood floors?